As I walked the streets of London this morning, I thought about the essentialness of forgiveness. First, Confucius had it right when he advised, “Before you go off to seek revenge, it’s best to dig two graves.” Getting brilliant at forgiving those who have wronged and hurt you delivers these benefits to you as a leader, producer and person:

  • You avoid becoming a resentment collector, full of negativity and cynicism.
  • You protect the energy needed to get big things done.
  • You live in the present and pursue a more prosperous future rather than staying stuck in the past.
  • You free up a ton of creativity that would be consumed grumbling about what someone did to you.
  • You remain peaceful and helpful instead of obsessing about being mistreated.

A few of the forgiveness rules that have been super useful to the clients I mentor:

1Forgiveness isn’t condoning the behaviour  No. It’s more about understanding that everyone does the best they can based on how they think. And, as the author Maya Angelou observed: “If they knew better, they would have done better.” How they behaved made sense to them then (read that twice), even if their actions were foolish and hurtful. So, practice the master skill of letting go.

2Let success be your confident reply  Staying bitter and stagnant is a violent defeat. I suggest you try to use what someone did to you as soil for your growth and fuel for your winning. Let any pain you suffer actually purify you by processing through it so that you become emotionally richer, internally stronger and personally wiser. And, as best as you can, exploit this newfound clarity, creativity and maturity to build glorious fortunes of success, beauty and inner freedom. Let an even more beautiful life be your elegant response.

3What’s yours can’t be taken from you  Mum taught me this one, and I wrote about the lesson in-depth in my latest book, The Wealth Money Can’t Buy. She taught me that what’s meant for me can’t be taken from me, and if something didn’t work out the way I wished it would have, it just wasn’t meant to be. Allow people to be on their path and know that what unfolds for them is none of your business. Do your best and trust, with deep faith, that life has your back. And that what appears is always for your fortune, never for your failure.

4Keep Death Close (KDC)  Reflecting on how short life really is – and the fact that in 100 years, everyone alive today will be dust – will give you perspective. A mistreatment that seems so big will begin to look small. You’ll see the value of moving on and letting the hurter deal with their karma. And you’ll be energised to “stick to your knitting” by doing what you know to be right, making excellent daily progress and remembering that good things inevitably happen to people who do great things.